Status Update: Sleep

The area of Ruby's life that has seen by far the most improvement over the last few months is her sleep. Although Ruby started out a champion sleeper and continued to sleep better than the average baby for the first 6 months, her sleep over the second half of her first year devolved to the point where I daresay she was worst sleeper out of all her baby friends. At 12 months old, we had reached the measure of last resort and were about to hire a sleep consultant (basically someone who for $140/hr teaches you how to get your baby to sleep). However, just then, Ruby transitioned from 2 naps to 1 nap, we moved into the new house, maybe Venus went into retrograde, and she started sleeping through the night!

Ruby's sleep issues stemmed mainly from her inability to fall asleep on her own. When she turned 6 months old, we went through a period where she needed to be attached to the boob in order to sleep. Even if I waited until she was dead asleep to try and put her down in her crib, she would start screaming and not stop until she was back on the boob. This prompted our first attempts at sleep training. Even though the sleep training did improve the situation significantly, I admit now that we broke many of the major rules. Technically speaking, we were supposed to put Ruby down and let her fall asleep on her own without any "sleep crutches," such as singing, patting, hand holding, etc. (Our sleep book actually allowed parents to pat the baby, but cautioned against rhythmic patting, as the baby could become dependent upon this to fall asleep.) After two nights of sleep training by the book, I was too distraught to function. There was no way I could make it through another night of Ruby crying for hours while I sat sobbing next to her crib. So the third night, we still did her bedtime routine and laid her down in her crib, but then I held her hand, patted rhythmically, and sang until she fell asleep!

Maybe our trouble started because we failed to sleep train by the book, but for a while we didn't worry about it too much. Ruby was going to sleep without needing to be nursed, which was HUGE. She was waking a couple times a night, but could be soothed back to sleep very quickly by Steve putting her pacifier back in her mouth and turning on her sound machine. However, over time, her night wakings became more frequent and longer in duration. Steve took the brunt of this as he is a much lighter sleeper than I, so most of the time, I would not be awoken unless Ruby was crying very loudly for a very long time. Also, Ruby could sense if it was I who went into her room, which oftentimes made the crying worse, because she wanted me to pick her up. So for many months, Steve would be going into Ruby's room multiple times a night and holding her hand for up to an hour before she would go back to sleep. Sometimes, even after an hour of holding her hand, she would start crying again as soon as he left. About once every week or two, we would give up and bring her into bed with us, which I sort of liked, but Steve frowned upon.

When Ruby was around 10 months old, we tried sleep training again. This time, we tried to have her fall asleep without one of us holding her hand and did not go in to hold her hand when she woke up in the middle of the night. Those were some of the darkest days of my life. Ruby would cry for up to 2+ hours (!!) and there was no sign of letting up. We were all getting less sleep than ever, and I'm pretty sure she was even keeping up the old lady who lived upstairs. (I could hear her talk on the phone from our bathroom, and although I don't understand Cantonese, I heard her say "WAH WAH WAH.") We gave up the sleep training mainly because it seemed to be aggravating her eczema, which would cause her to itch, further preventing her from being able to fall asleep. So Ruby continued with her frequent and long night wakings through her first birthday.

Just after her 12 month check up, which we left with a referral for a sleep consultant, Ruby transitioned to 1 nap a day, and this significantly improved her nighttime sleep. She was waking up much less frequently, sometimes even sleeping through the night! She still required someone to hold her hand in order to fall asleep. However, when we moved into the new house, we had no furniture in Ruby's room aside from her crib and dresser, and Steve found it very uncomfortable to sit on floor while holding her hand, so after a couple of nights, he decided to stop doing it. The first night, Ruby cried for about 15-20 minutes, and the next night, only 2. Since then, we have been able to put her down in her crib, say "Night-night," and walk out the door with NO FUSSING for naps AND bedtime!!! Truly, we have reached the holy grail of sleep.

These days, Ruby sleeps from around 8pm to 8am with not so much as a peep in between. She takes one 1.5-hour long nap in the middle of the day. I often wonder if any of the sleep training actually did any good, or if she was simply not ready until now to fall asleep on her own. For now, we are just savoring the uninterrupted sleep and the happy, well-rested baby.