Fall schedule

It has been a few months since I last spoke about the day to day life of being a Stay At Home Mom.  I'm happy to report that I still love it, perhaps even more than before.  Since we moved to a new neighborhood in mid-August, our Fall activities have mainly been held in the various rec centers nearby to our new apartment.  Even though we miss our house and our neighborhood, we've really enjoyed experiencing a new area of the city, exploring the local playgrounds, and sampling the neighborhood restaurants.

We've had a pretty good weekly routine going during the Fall, comprised of classes, playdates, and trips to libraries/museums.  By now Ruby knows which class we go to on each day and which friends we will see.  One of the best parts for me is to listen to her recount the activities of the day to her dad each evening.  She recalls the events of the day in amazing detail and is now coherent enough to convey pertinent information to others.  It's very weird to not have to tell Steve what I did during the day anymore because now our child does it for me!  It's also really funny to hear the intonations and speech affects that Ruby picks up from adults.  For example, she likes to list things that she has done but does so in a very exaggerated way.  So when asked what she did that day, she'll say, "We went to Eva's hoooouuuuse, we ate luuuuuunch, we played with tooooooys ...."

Our schedule in the Fall has gone something like this:

On Mondays we've tried to get together with Ruby's bestie, Eva.  It's been about a year now since they first met, and Eva is still the little social butterfly, always trying to hold Ruby's hand and smother her with hugs and kisses.  Ruby is still much more reserved, sometimes hiding behind my legs, but she talks about Eva all the time and asks to watch videos of Eva over and over again.  Every day we get to play with Eva is a very special day for Ruby.

On Tuesdays, we take a class called Fairy Tale Frolics at the Upper Noe Rec Center.  The class itself is somewhat underwhelming.  It was touted as a class where the children read classic fairy tales out loud and then acted them out, but in reality the entire reading portion of the class lasts about 5 minutes, and sometimes they don't even make it through one book before too many of the kids run off.  Most of the class is just random free-play with the rec center's indoor toys and equipment.  There is a brief art project each week, and the last part of the class is held in the gymnasium where there are more toys and sometimes a parachute.  In general, it moves from one thing to the next a bit too quickly for Ruby, who would be happy to just do one of those activities for the whole class.  However, we introduced the class to Ruby's little friend Michael, and now he and his mom take the class with us, which has been fun.

On Wednesday mornings, we take a class called Tot Sports at Eureka Valley Rec Center.  The class is meant to be an introduction to organized sports, so each class they will play a sport like soccer or basketball or practice a skill like catching or obstacle courses.  It may or may not come as a surprise that Ruby is not very sporty.  She will usually participate during the warm-up stretching, but the majority of the rest of the class is spent doing her own thing or taking water breaks.  We were able to meet several new friends in the class, all of whom are around the same age.  Ruby's favorite part of class is afterwards when they all get together and share their snacks.

In the afternoons on Wednesday we go to our Golden Gate Music Together class in Laurel Heights, which is close to our old neighborhood.  We used to be able to walk there from our house, but now we have to drive 20 min and then find parking.  However, it's worth it because it is Ruby's favorite class of the week!  She has always loved music, and in this class they give everyone a different instrument to play along with each song.

On Thursdays Ruby is still with the nanny and share-care buddy Ian.  She is still excited to see Ian every week and asks about him when he's not around.  This week, Ruby mentioned that some of her toys were broken.  When we asked her who broke them, she said, "Ian already broke my toys."  Fortunately, she doesn't harbor any ill will, and the two of them are still two peas in a pod.

On Friday mornings Ruby takes another music class called Music and Movement at St. Mary's Rec Center.  This is actually one of my favorite Parks and Rec classes because the teacher is entertaining and engaging with the kids.  Ruby also met a very sweet new friend in the class.  She is 4 years old and just adores Ruby.  She often treats Ruby as if she is her own child!  They play together for hours in the playground after class.  Once when I had to run to the other side of the playground to get something, she said to me, "You can go; I'll take care of Ruby."  The two of them together is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen.

On Friday afternoons I used to take an exercise class called Strollercise at Eureka Valley Rec.  The class was meant to allow moms to exercise while their toddlers played around in the room.  Ruby was not very accommodating at first.  She was ok during the Zumba portion of the class, but would become very upset if I tried to do squats or calf raises.  She got a little better over time, but unfortunately the class was very poorly attended.  At most it was myself and one other mom, and most weeks it was just me.  Therefore, the class was cancelled halfway through the season, eliminating my only source of exercise.  Fortunately, the instructor was kind enough to offer some of us exercise instruction for free on Thursday mornings, so I need to start taking her up on that.

After exercise class, Ruby usually has a playdate with Anjishnu, who is the son of two of my former labmates.  Although Anjishnu is 4 and a half, he loves playing with younger kids and spends all of his time chasing Ruby around the playground.  They always have a blast when playing together!

Of course we cannot forget about Ruby's long-time boyfriend, Julien.  Julien and Ruby actually signed up for 3 classes together at the start of the Fall session, but with his extensive travel schedule the last few months, they've only actually attended class together less than a handful of times.  However, they still have regular dinner dates which Ruby is always very excited for, sometimes standing by the door and calling, "Come on!  Let's go to dinner with Julien!"

I think I will always remember this Fall as the season we spent at Ruby's "new house," meeting new friends, settling into our new routines, and watching Ruby turn from a toddler into a Big Kid.

Little Ruby Riding Hood

It's hard to believe that Ruby has now celebrated Halloween 3 times in her little life.







This year we trick-or-treated at the shops on 24th St. in Noe Valley along with Ruby's bff, Eva, her bf, Julien, and hundreds of neighborhood children.  Trick-or-treating was right up Ruby's alley because one of her favorite activities is to gather various smaller items and collect them in larger containers.  She was thrilled that all of these strangers on the street wanted to play this collection game with her.









Ruby's efforts were very lucrative, and she came away with a basket full of goodies.  Amazingly, she has yet to eat a single piece of candy!  It turns out that Ruby still doesn't quite understand that those little colorful packages contain food, and in this case we decided to perpetuate ignorance.  She has saved all of her treats in her basket (minus the few pieces that Steve and I snuck after she went to bed) so that she can play "trick-or-treat" over and over again.

Not to paint myself the Big Bad Wolf, but when I saw this Little Red Riding Hood, I wanted nothing more than to gobble her up.

The Darnedest Things

One of the most delightfully entertaining parts of watching Ruby grow up is hearing all of her thoughts being turned into words.  As Ruby adds more and more words to her repertoire, it is easier and easier to hear the voice of a little person.  Over time, Ruby's chatter has evolved from a stream of random life observations ("Yiby* has bare feet.  Mommy has bare feet.  E'rybody bare feet!") to specific and deliberate instructions ("Can you flap your arms?  Flap your arms, Mommy!")  Many times Ruby's language indicates that she believes she is the adult in the situation.  When I tried to take back the little prep bowl that she was playing with while I was preparing dinner, she objected, "Rubby's still using it.  You play with big bowls, Mommy!"

Sometimes her instructions are quite specific.  The other day, when I was humming one of Ruby's songs that I had stuck in my head, she requested, "Just sing it, Mommy.  Don't pretend sing, OK?"  And when her dad was using a low voice to depict one of the characters in a book they were reading, she directed, "Don't read it sad.  Read it happy."

She now understands many of the rules of common courtesy and is more than eager to enforce them.  When I try to put away a toy she's not done with, I'll hear, "Not avail'ble yet!  Rubby's still using it.  Wait your turn!" However, when she is the one who has to wait for something that is not yet available, she has often been known to screech, "Avail'ble!  Rubby NEEDS it!"

One of my favorite pastimes is listening in on the conversations she has with her little friends, both real and imaginary.  She especially likes to talk to her little buddy Ian on the days they get to play together.  This week, when her singing doggie ran out of batteries, she explained, "Doggie is broken, Ian.  Have to wait for Daddy fix it.  Find new ba'rries."  And when Ian was rough-housing on the furniture, she cautioned, "Be careful, Ian!  Don't fall down!"  I will often hear her taking care of her dollie (wa-wa), "Want to eat lunch, wa-wa?  Here go.  Want some water, wa-wa?  Rubby get some water.  Be right back."

It is getting harder and harder to slide anything past Ruby, as she picks up on everything and has the memory of an elephant.  Therefore, we've learned not to make mention of something unless we are prepared to produce it immediately.  We also have to be very careful of what promises we make because she will come to collect on it in due time.  If we ever run out of something that Ruby is asking for, like a favorite food, we can usually appease her by telling her that we don't have anymore and that we have go to the store and buy more.  Sometimes as soon as we tell her that we've run out of something, she will suggest, "Mommy buy more."  However, her understanding of commerce is not air-tight.  Ruby really dislikes having food stuck in between her teeth, so she enjoys flossing it out.  One day, I was helping her floss her teeth, and she kept on asking me to  do it more.  I told her that she didn't have any more teeth gunk stuck in her teeth, to which she replied, "Mommy buy more."

Of course what makes the things Ruby says so hilarious is the painfully earnest way she makes each statement and poses each question.  There is always a concerted effort on our part to respond to her seriously instead of just laughing in her face.  We have to remind ourselves that as much as we want to just gobble her up, that she is not just a cute face - she's a little girl with some big ideas.

*Ruby's pronunciation of her own name has also evolved over the past year.  Initially, she pronounced it "Yiby" as she could not pronounce the letter R and therefore substituted a random consonant anytime she encountered it.  Then there was a brief transition period when she referred to herself as "Wuby."  In recent months, she's switched over to "Rubby."

Goodbye Summer

Fall is here already, and I realize that I have not updated the blog nearly often enough over the summer.  Even though in San Francisco, our real summer is the Fall, when temperatures occasionally break 70, I am sad to see summer go.  Despite the fog and the wind and bundling up in winter coats at the playground, I love how the days are long and how the most delicious fruits and vegetables are in season.  Almost every Saturday this summer we have made it over to the farmer's market at the Ferry Building, which is quite possibly my favorite place on Earth.  I could live there and just roll around in the endless aisles of beautiful produce, not to mention the rows of gourmet food trucks.  I'm sure this type of thing exists in other parts of the world as well, but I feel like I had never really tasted food until I started eating at farmer's markets in San Francisco.  Over the years, I have developed a pretty costly farmer's market habit, and I'm sorry to say that Ruby has started hers at a much younger age.

Every week when we arrive at the market, Ruby dons what is basically a full-body poncho so that we may avoid scrubbing out the stains from her clothes after she gorges herself on fistful after fistful of free samples.  As we make our way through the sea of vendors, Ruby eats oranges, peaches, nectarines, pluots, strawberries, grapes, apples, pears, ju-ju-be's, sugar snap peas, heirloom tomatoes, figs, and anything else anyone puts in front of her face.  A couple of weeks ago, we even found fresh baby corn that was so tender that it could be eaten raw along with the inner husks.  After we make our purchases and Ruby covers herself in a layer of sticky purple sweetness, we pick up lunch from one of the food vendors and eat on the pier, looking out into the bay.  Before we leave, Ruby likes to stop in front of one of the many street performers and dance along with the music.  It takes a lot of prodding before we finally leave and head home with our bountiful loot.  Pathetically, the food usually only lasts us about half the week, and I have to find a mid-week farmer's market to replenish.

This summer seemed particularly cold to me, as there were very few heat waves or fluke sunny days to punctuate the summer fog.  The only bits of real summer that we got was when we left the city, like when we took our trip to the Pacific Northwest, or the times when we traveled to the North or South Bay for a pool day.



Only in the last week or so were we given the first taste of our Indian Summer, and we have been taking full advantage by swimming in the pool at our new apartment and taking Ruby's first trip to Ocean Beach (where we had a good half hour of partial sunshine before the fog creeped back in).

















Fortunately for us, Ruby does not experience any feeling of loss for the lack of warm weather.  As a true San Francisco native, she prefers the fog and wind.  On those rare warm and sunny days, I endure a lot complaining about how it's "too hot" and "too sunny."

There is still so much to write about little Ruby, who is not just two, but two and a quarter years old now and becoming less of a toddler and more of a "big girl" each day.  But to commemorate the changing of the season, I will leave you with this video of Ruby tasting mooncake for the first time on the eve of the Autumn Moon Festival.  More to come ...

Demo

Over the last couple of weeks we have settled into our temporary home in the Diamond Heights Avalon Apartments. It turns out I did not need to worry about Ruby being homesick, as she LOVES our new place and has not once asked about our house. I don't know if it was the thrill of unpacking all of her toys or the fact that our building has an elevator, but anytime we are out, she asks to go back to "Ruby's new house." 

Not a week after we moved in, we took a trip up to the Pacific Northwest to visit Steve's parents and to accompany Steve on a business trip to Seattle. For having slept in so many different places over the past few weeks, Ruby has done surprisingly well. She has been excited to explore each new place and loves to narrate and recount her new experiences. 

In the meantime, construction has begun on our house. The first phase of construction is demolition, the part that goes the fastest as entropy is on our side. Even in the first few days of the demo, our home was in an almost unrecognizable state. However, when we returned from our trip, having not seen the house in a full week, we were greeted by a truly jaw-dropping state of affairs. Here are some photos that chronicle the first two weeks of destruction, er construction.

 
 
  Office before:
 
 

Office as storage unit:
 
 
 
 

Office boarded up Day 1:
 
 

Stairway before:
 
 

Stairway Day 3:
 
 

Back of house Day 4:
 
 

Back of house Day 13:
 
 

View from front of house to back Day 13:
 
 

Living room before:
 
 

Living room Day 13:
 
 

Family room before:
 
 

Family room Day 13 (that's our contractor's dog):
 
 

Ruby's bedroom before:
 
 

Ruby's bedroom Day 13:
 
 

Our bedroom before:
 
 

Our bedroom Day 13:
 
 

Playroom before:
 
 

Playroom Day 13:
 
 

I probably would have passed out had I not been in danger of falling off of the second story of the house. Our contractor promises that he can fix this, and we have no choice but to believe him.

The Move - One year later

Today is the one year anniversary of the day we moved into our house. On Friday, we are moving back out. This time the move will be temporary, and hopefully within 6 months time we will return to a much-improved home. We have been planning this major home remodel for almost a year now. Even when we first toured the house as prospective buyers, we saw the potential for remodeling. This is not to say the house is not wonderful the way that it is. In fact the most common response when we tell others we are remodeling is, "Why?" The next most common is, "Oooh, you must enjoy pain."

Our house is a pre-1900 Victorian. At its inception, it was nothing more than 4 rooms. Over the years, many additions have been made, starting with the area that is now the kitchen, followed by the area that is now the family room, and most recently, the lower level of the home which includes 2 bedrooms, a playroom, a bathroom, and a garage. Although the house is now quite spacious, it is clear that different people created each addition in different points in time without much thought given to the connection to the other parts of the home. For example, the stairs to the lower level were added to the very back of the house, such that to get from a room in the front of the house to the room directly beneath it, one has to walk quite a ways (in fact, it would be faster to just go outside and enter through the garage door).

There are also several aspects to the floorplan that feel disjointed and inefficient. For example, the original living room is at the front of the house, as soon as you enter the front door. However, the more-recently-added family room is all the way at the back of the house, separated by the dining room and kitchen. The previous owners used the front room as a "formal living room" or sitting room. However, this room serves no purpose for us and has remained an unfurnished "staging area" the entire time we've lived here, giving all guests the appearance that we've just moved in.





Another example of wasted space is the master bedroom, which is just off of the living room and dining room. We do not use the master bedroom as our bedroom for several reasons: 1) I don't like the location of it being literally in the middle of the living space. 2) We prefer for our bedroom to be on the same level as Ruby's bedroom. 3) It has the only bathroom on the upstairs level, meaning that all guests would have to go through our bedroom to use the bathroom. 4) This is the closet:



No, it does not go in deeper on either side (it is flanked by the bathroom and a window). For these reasons, we use the master bedroom as a guest room and as the room that share care buddy Ian naps in.



One of the best aspects of our house is the backyard, which is right off of Ruby's playroom.



On the rare occasions that the fog lifts, we have enjoyed some nice barbeques on the patio. However, there is no direct way to access the backyard from the kitchen. And we clearly did not consider when we installed the white carpet that access to the backyard would need to be gained from the playroom. In fact, every 2 weeks when our gardeners come, they have to carry all of their lawnmowers, weedwackers, treesaws, trash can full of leaves, etc. through the playroom over the white carpet.

It was all of these issues that led us to the decision to remodel. Shortly after we moved in, I contacted an architect who had designed the home of Ruby's little boyfriend Julien. I was so impressed by the design of their home that I knew I had to work with their architect, John Lum. In addition to having exceptional taste, he is also a super nice guy. In one of our first meetings, he was out in our backyard in his socks, helping Steve put together Ruby's play structure. He took our needs and his own vision and created a design for our home that I could have never conceived of in a million years.

Here are the highlights:
-The current living room will become a playroom/guestroom. It will have sliding doors that meet at the corner, so when opened it will appear that the room is a part of the rest of the living space, and I will be able to see Ruby playing from the kitchen. When closed, it can function as a guestroom for visitors. There will be access to a closet and bathroom from both within the room and from the outer living space.
-The entire rest of the upper level will be opened up to make a cohesive living space. The kitchen will lead to a dining area and living area.
-A deck will be added to the upstairs, and stairs from the deck will lead directly to the backyard. This will greatly facilitate indoor/outdoor entertaining.
-The staircase will be moved from the back of the house to the center, opposite the dining area.
-Ruby's current downstairs playroom will be turned into a master suite. A bathroom and closet will be added to the area currently occupied by the staircase.
-Skylights will be added to the kitchen and stairwell to bring more light into the center of the house which is now quite dark.

These changes will address all of the issues we've had with this house. After the remodel we will have a fully-utilized living space upstairs, direct access to the backyard from the upper level, and 3 bedrooms on one level downstairs. We will also be able to customize all the fixtures and finishes to our taste.

While the end result promises to be amazing, the process is a bit more than we bargained for. In our minds we had envisioned going on a long vacation and returning to a brand new house, Extreme-Makeover-Home-Edition style. We had also thought that we could possibly live in one section of the house while the construction occurred in another section. We quickly realized after talking with our architect that these scenarios would not be feasible. For the scale of the remodel that we are looking at, the timeline is on the order of 6 months, and we were told that living in a construction site is akin to living in a war zone.

Coming to terms with the reality that we would have to move out of the house was probably the most difficult part of the process so far. Keep in mind that at the time we had this conversation with our architect, we had just moved into the house not a month before. Even though we now have only 3 days left before the move, I am still somewhat in a state of denial. I worry about how it will affect Ruby. Will she be homesick? Will she ask to go home? I worry about myself being homesick. This house in the past year has become very much a part of our identity as a family. We love the neighborhood, the many memories. I also worry that I will see the house after the demo and think, "What have I done?????"

At the same time, we are excited to explore our new neighborhood. We will be moving to the Diamond Heights Avalon Apartments. While the Diamond Heights neighborhood is probably one of the lowest trafficked areas of the city, it is fairly centrally located atop a hill between the Sunset and Noe Valley. The nearby neighborhoods of Glen Park, Bernal Heights, and Eureka Valley offer many great playgrounds and rec centers.

The apartment has only 2 bedrooms and is less than 1000 square feet, so fitting our 4-bedroom, 2000+ square feet house inside of it is a bit like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. The only room that will be unaffected by the remodel will be our office, so it will serve as a storage unit. We are hoping to fit one full bedroom set, one full dining room set, and all of our extraneous junk into there.

I plan to chronicle the progress of the remodel on this blog. I am hoping against hope that the process will not be as painful as others have warned. The adventure begins on Friday. Wish us luck!