Five years later

On Saturday Steve and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. I often wonder, are we so old that we've been married FIVE years and have a 2-year-old child? Then I remember that we got married when I was 22 and Steve 25. When I think of a 22 year old these days it seems SO young, but there I was, getting married.

For those of you who weren't there, we got married on the 40th floor balcony of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in downtown San Francisco. It was one of the warmest summer days I have ever seen in the 6 years I have lived in San Francisco. And it was one of the most beautiful, fun, and perfect days of my life.

On Saturday for the first time in 5 years, we returned to the Mandarin Oriental and snuck back up to the 40th floor.



The doors to the balcony are always locked except during special events, so we didn't expect we would be able to go outside.



Just as we were about to leave, a uniformed building engineer named Steve appeared like magic and unlocked the doors for us.









It was around 5:30pm, 5 years to the hour that we were married. Everything was just as I remembered it, except for our Plus One.

Happy and free

Many of you have asked how Ruby and I pass our days now that I am a stay-at-home mom. Here is what we did last week:

Monday - Ruby started ballet lessons at Tutu School!

Ever since I found out we would be having a little girl, I envisioned her dressed in a little tutu, dancing in ballet class. Ruby has always had such a love of dancing that I figured this would be something she would enjoy. The class is basically mind-boggling amounts of adorable (2-year-old girls dressed in tutus, running around and flapping their arms).



Ruby does quite well with following along with the teacher, executing little plies and sautes. However, whenever she is singled out to do something on her own, she becomes frozen by performance anxiety, sometimes requiring me to carry her around the room, flapping my own arms in her stead. The parent participation part of the class has also made me realize how inflexible I've become in my advancing years. Hopefully we will both see improvement by the end of the summer session.

Ruby's ballet class is located close to the home of her little friend Eva, so after the class, we met up with Eva and her mom at their neighborhood playground. We even ran into another of Ruby's playgroup friends from way back in the day. After playing a bit, we returned to Eva's house for lunch. Whenever Ruby and Eva dine together, there is very limited eating due to the anticipation of more playing. Ruby ate one bite out of each of the things I brought for her all the while keeping one eye on Eva's talking dolly. The two girls had lots of fun playing together as always.

Tuesday - In the morning we met up with Ruby's friends Julien, Zealand, and Maricela at the Randall Museum. The Randall is a very cute and free children's museum with a petting zoo, train room, playroom, and various nature exhibits. It's all indoors which was nice due to the frigid San Francisco summer weather conditions. Ruby had a great time romping around with her friends, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time catching up with my mom (and dad) friends.

In the afternoon, the weather had not improved, so I took Ruby to our neighborhood library. We usually go to the library for their toddler story hour, but this time we just hung out in the reading corner. Ruby was in book heaven!

Wednesday - Weather was still bad, so I took Ruby to her art class at the local Rec Center. Each week a different project is set out for the kids to make. Last week was marine-themed (a squid out of a cup and crepe paper, a crab out of two paper plates and pipe cleaners, and an ocean scene with cut-out fishies and seaweed). Ruby's favorite part of art class is peering through the window at the old ladies taking tap dance lessons in the next room. Also she likes the songs they play on a CD player in the back of the room and the part where she gets to wash her hands. I don't think Ruby really gets "art" yet. She likes to play with the various components that they set out on the table, and she loves to use scissors, but she's not yet interested in actually creating something. Most of the time, she just collects up all the glue-stick caps and cuts string into little pieces while I do the project by myself.

Wednesday afternoon I took Ruby to a demo class for Golden Gate Music Together. There are so many different music programs in the city that you can keep quite busy just going to the trial classes. Ruby loves music classes. She was in a bad mood on Wednesday, but the music class turned it around. After the class, we went to a nearby playground where she had a snack and enjoyed a small hint of sunshine.

Thursday - Thursday is the day that Ruby is with the nanny. We were able to keep our nanny share 1 day/week for the time being. We are quite dependent on this 1 day/week for several reasons: 1) It gives me an opportunity to run all the errands and go to any appointments I have for the week. 2) It gives Ruby an opportunity to play with her little buddy Ian, whom she is ecstatic to see each week. 3) Perhaps most importantly, it maintains her relationship with the nanny so that we have one person who lives locally to call upon in a pinch or an emergency. With Ruby's stranger anxiety and many particulars, it takes a long time for her to become comfortable with a caretaker, so I did not want her to forget the nanny.

Having one day off from being a full-time parent does seem to do wonders for your quality of life. On the weeks when we were not able to have the nanny, I definitely noticed an increased level of burnout by the time Thursday rolled around. Although some Thursdays I am literally running from one errand to the other, I do try to take some time to relax and do something fun. Some weeks, Steve and I go out for lunch. This past Thursday, I visited my friend Debbie and her new baby boy. This coming Thursday, Steve and I are going to observe our 5 year anniversary (actually on Saturday). We may go see Harry Potter.

Friday - On Friday morning, we went to one of Ruby's favorite hang-outs, the Bay Area Discovery Museum with our friends Brooke and Sydney. The museum is in Sausalito, just over the Golden Gate Bridge but is only about a 15 min. drive from our house. Oftentimes, we will leave our overcast house, drive over a bridge encased in fog, and emerge on the other side greeted by blue skies and sunshine. Last Friday the fog had insinuated its way into the North Bay as well, so it was quite cold and windy, but fortunately there are plenty of indoor exhibits at the museum. In fact, every time we go, we discover something that we hadn't noticed before. Here, Ruby is making a phone call in the Curious George room.

In the afternoon on Friday, we walked to Laurel Village and the shops on Sacramento Street. Ruby's feet recently went through a growth spurt so she got a new pair of shoes, and she played around in all the stores we stopped in.

All in all, despite the unfortunate weather, it was a great week. Most weeks don't have quite as many "planned in advance" activities, so there is more improvisation. This goes against my instincts to plan everything, but most of the time we have a good time doing whatever we end up doing. Even the most mundane tasks can be made memorable by something Ruby says or does.

Definitely one of the most difficult adjustments to becoming a stay-at-home mom is having all of this unscheduled time. I feel as if I am still learning how to allow myself to enjoy it. Up to this point, I've lived life at maximum intensity, choosing the most demanding courseload and the most rigorous schedule, sometimes purely for the sake of maintaining maximum intensity. So many times I wished that I could just take all the weight off my shoulders and be happy and free. But I really had no concept of what it meant to be happy and free until I met Ruby. Now I understand ... this is happy and free.

Fourth of July

Sorry that it's taken till the 13th of July to write about the 4th of July, but better late than never! This year was Ruby's third 4th of July on Earth. On her first 4th of July, we attended the wedding of our friends Ryan and Debbie.



It was our first major outing as a family, and with the amount of gear we packed, it looked like we were moving into their reception hall.

On Ruby's second 4th of July, we went to her little friend Zach's house for a BBQ.





Ruby was very intrigued by her wriggly little friend.

This year, we had a BBQ at our own house with Ruby's good friend Eva and her parents.



Both girls and their respective dollies had a blast goofing off in the backyard.













Later that evening, we took Ruby to her first fireworks experience. The fireworks show at Fisherman's Wharf doesn't begin until 9:30, but with Ruby's nightowl tendencies, she had no trouble staying up late for the event. We were able to avoid the mobs of onlookers at Chrissy Field by going to a more remote look-out point in the Presidio. There was a small grassy hill that offered perfect views of the San Francisco fireworks as well as further-away shows in the East and North Bay. Ruby was very excited to "find-a fireworks!" She particularly liked the "blue ones."

This is the first year Ruby seems to be able to really appreciate holidays and the traditions that go along with them. In this way, I feel like I'm experiencing it all for the first time too.