Moving on up

For the third time in 18 months, we are T-2 days to Moving Day.  I'm sorry to say that we have developed a "moving routine" by now.  My mom always arrives a few days before to help entertain Ruby while we pack.  The day of the move, I bring Ruby over to share care buddy Ian's house.  I'm also responsible for buying lunch for the movers and for shuttling some of the more fragile boxes and things in the refrigerator to the new place.  Steve "supervises" the move and is also responsible for breaking down and setting back up furniture.  Number one priority when we get into the new place is setting up Ruby's room so that it is usable for sleeping.  Then we typically ride the adrenaline high over a few days of intensive unpacking until the house is about 90% set-up.  The remaining 10% then lingers on indefinitely.

We hope that after this move, we will not be relocating again for a very long time, if ever.  This Friday represents the end of a 6-month long remodel project where our house was essentially gutted and rebuilt.  The transformation is enormous, and when it's all done, I'm sure it will be so beautiful that it will make my eyes hurt. I wish I could say it was already finished and sparkling clean, but in reality finishing touches will still be in process as the movers are driving up on Friday and most likely for a couple of weeks thereafter.  That being said, Friday is the date we planned to move back into the house from the very beginning, so the project has gone as close to schedule and with as little issues as could be hoped for.  I had hoped to post pictures of the construction as it progressed, but that is another thing that got away from me, so now you will get to see the complete transformation from demolition to finished product just like on TV.

It's hard to believe that this remodel, which was the largest and most daunting project Steve and I have ever undertaken, is coming to an end.  As thrilled as I am to be moving back home, it's also a little sad to be leaving our temporary home of the last 6 months.  Ruby and I have had a wonderful time exploring the neighborhood, going to classes at the local rec centers, and meeting new friends.  In fact, as I've spend the majority of my time as a SAHM in our temporary apartment, we now have more friends in this neighborhood than we did in our old neighborhood.  Ruby has also loved living here.  She runs to the elevator every morning and knows how to hold the doors for people.  She's made friends with the staff in the front office and loves to go collect packages.    However, she still remembers our house well.  When I ask her about her old playroom, she says, "Remember Ruby and Ian play in there together?"  (Because that's where they used to play when she was in the share care every day.)  She also remembers the backyard with her play structure ("Remember two red slides and the red tunnel?") and the lemon tree.  It will be wonderful to once again be able to walk everywhere so that I might be able to get some more exercise.  And I'm sure we won't even be able to appreciate how wonderful our house is until we are living in it and enjoying it every day.

As soon as we get the house into a presentable state, I will post pictures.  Right now I have to tackle a stack of still-empty moving boxes before the movers arrive in less than 36 hours!

Please describe your child

Even though there is lots to share about major things going on in our lives right now, I have been sidetracked from updating the blog as of late in favor of writing Ruby's preschool application essays.  I had thought when I was writing my essays for graduate school that I would be safe from writing admissions essays for the rest of my life, but little did I know of the preschool admissions process in San Francisco.  Most of the essay questions were reminiscent of college applications, i.e. What attracted you to our school?  Why do you feel our school is a good fit for your child?  How do you see yourself contributing to the community?  Many of you may find this level or rigor in preschool admissions ridonculous, as I certainly did when I first heard of such things.  However, these are all schools that are really wonderful and convenient to our home, and they are all VERY difficult to get into (admissions rates lower than the schools Steve and I attended for undergrad and grad school).  We have no feet in the door at any of these places, we don't know anybody on the board, and we don't have any money to donate.  Therefore, I felt the best thing we had going for us were these darn essays.

So that my efforts are not lost to everyone except the members of the admissions committee for these schools, I thought I'd share one of the essays here.  It's the one that asked us to describe our child.  What I wanted to write was that if you could come to our house and spend some time with Ruby and really get to know her, you'd be paying us to spend more time with her.  But instead I just hope I was able to capture at least a fraction of her spirit and the light she brings into my world every day.

Ruby is the type of kid who makes people who swear they never want kids reconsider.  Usually it's after they've had a meal with her in a restaurant and witnessed her sit quietly for 2 hours, slowly and meticulously eating her food, occasionally offering to share with me or her dad, and spontaneously breaking into dance along with the background music.  If she gets really comfortable with them, she may even sing a song or offer a tentative one-finger high five.

When I think of Ruby, I think of happiness.  Almost every day, she is a bundle of giggles and cheerful chatter from the moment she wakes to the moment we say goodnight.  She loves music, and she loves to dance.  Throughout the day she will break out into song, sometimes surprising me with a song I had no idea she knew.  The other day, she started singing a song from last season's Music Together class while strumming on a guitar that she fashioned herself using a piece of wooden train track and a rubber band.  She breaks into dance at the sound of music or any kind of beat, one time dancing to the ticking of the timer on our toaster oven.  She loves playing with her friends, and at the end of each day excitedly recounts everyone she saw and what they did to her dad.  Even though she often cannot catch up with a little friend who is running circles around the playground, she will trot along after him, sometimes with an outstretched hand full of Cheerios, asking in a voice not quite loud enough for him to hear, "Here, want a Cheerio?"

Ruby has always been a very cautious child who is somewhat reluctant to venture into new situations.  This combined with a low frustration tolerance is most likely what contributed to her not crawling until she was 14.5 months old and not walking until she was almost a year and a half.  When she finally did walk, she rarely fell down.  It was as if she had to be sure she could walk safely before she would walk at all.  Ruby is meticulous and thoughtful in everything she does.  All of her toys and books are in Like New condition.  She points out specks of dirt around the house and asks, "Can you wipe it, Mommy?"  Her activity level has always been low relative to her peers.  Oftentimes when we go to the playground she will ask to just sit on the bench and have a snack.  She enjoys observing the other children and excitedly points out interesting things that they are doing.  She has always had a very long attention span.  Even when we were taking our baby sign language classes when she was only 7 months old, she was the only baby who sat for the entire hour, listening intently to the teacher.  Today, whether it be reading books, making Chinese dumplings out of play dough, or eating her meals, Ruby is able to engage in a single activity for an impressively long period of time.

Ruby has a very mature soul, and sometimes I wonder if I am hearing the wisdom of a 60-year-old woman coming out of her mouth.  When I was nauseous with morning sickness a couple months ago, Ruby looked at me earnestly and said, "Eat something, Mommy.  You feel better."  Sometimes it seems like in her mind, she is the adult in our family.  At dinner when she saw that I did not have a glass of water, she directed, "Daddy, please get Mommy a cup!"  And later, "Mommy, you forgot to say 'Thank you very much, Daddy'!"  She is a natural nurturer.  Much of her play involves pretending to buy and prepare food for me and her dollies.  She loves to and often insists upon sharing her food, running to bring me or her dad the first bite of even her most favorite snack.  When I was sick in bed one time, she brought me toy after toy until I was buried, and nowadays if ever I look tired, she tells me, "Go lie on the bed, Mommy.  I bring you a toy."  When I'm with her, it sometimes feels like I'm with a good friend and other times feels like I'm with little baby, but she never fails to at least once a day stop me in my tracks with amazement.

P.S.  Here is the video of Ruby singing the Music Together song:  (The lyrics are supposed to be "Walking down my street, feeling good in my feet.  Boom chicka chicka chicka boom chicka chicka chicka boom boom boom!")

Addendum 2/13/12:  Today Ruby was accepted to our first choice preschool, Peter's Place!

Christmas at Lao-lao and Lao-ye's house

This year for the first time, we spent Christmas at Lao-lao and Lao-ye's house.  Lao-lao and Lao-ye live very far away, so we have to take an airplane just to get there.  I like riding on the airplane because I'm allowed to watch as many Elmo videos as I want and also Mommy packs an entire carry-on bag full of snacks for me.  I also really like Lao-lao and Lao-ye's house because there are lots of stairs, and I get to have my diaper changed on an extra-large changer called a chaise lounger, and there are always plenty of grown-ups to wait on me hand and foot.  This year, my Uncle Hao-hao came from Los Angeles to play with me!  It was fun to share my toys with him, and he is also really good at coloring.

Many other people also came to visit me.  I got to see my Uncle Allan, his Mommy (my Great-aunt), and Mommy's friend Andrea who always brings me Hello Kitty things.  I even got to play with my little buddy Johann!  When Johann was even younger than I am today, he was the ring bearer at Mommy and Daddy's wedding.

Now he is a Very Big Kid.  He really likes to play Angry Birds, and I like to cheer him along.

Since it was Christmastime, Mommy and Daddy gave all of our visitors a present, and then they all gave me a present!  If you think that's a lot of presents, then you won't believe what happened on Christmas day!  I found one million presents under the Christmas tree, and we opened them all!

Some of the presents were for Uncle Hao-hao ...

Some were for Lao-lao and Lao-ye ...

Some were for Mommy and Daddy ...

But most were for me!!!

I can't remember what Christmas was like last year and the year before, but boy oh boy was it fun this year! As much as I liked all of my presents, my favorite part was spending time with my family!

Fall schedule

It has been a few months since I last spoke about the day to day life of being a Stay At Home Mom.  I'm happy to report that I still love it, perhaps even more than before.  Since we moved to a new neighborhood in mid-August, our Fall activities have mainly been held in the various rec centers nearby to our new apartment.  Even though we miss our house and our neighborhood, we've really enjoyed experiencing a new area of the city, exploring the local playgrounds, and sampling the neighborhood restaurants.

We've had a pretty good weekly routine going during the Fall, comprised of classes, playdates, and trips to libraries/museums.  By now Ruby knows which class we go to on each day and which friends we will see.  One of the best parts for me is to listen to her recount the activities of the day to her dad each evening.  She recalls the events of the day in amazing detail and is now coherent enough to convey pertinent information to others.  It's very weird to not have to tell Steve what I did during the day anymore because now our child does it for me!  It's also really funny to hear the intonations and speech affects that Ruby picks up from adults.  For example, she likes to list things that she has done but does so in a very exaggerated way.  So when asked what she did that day, she'll say, "We went to Eva's hoooouuuuse, we ate luuuuuunch, we played with tooooooys ...."

Our schedule in the Fall has gone something like this:

On Mondays we've tried to get together with Ruby's bestie, Eva.  It's been about a year now since they first met, and Eva is still the little social butterfly, always trying to hold Ruby's hand and smother her with hugs and kisses.  Ruby is still much more reserved, sometimes hiding behind my legs, but she talks about Eva all the time and asks to watch videos of Eva over and over again.  Every day we get to play with Eva is a very special day for Ruby.

On Tuesdays, we take a class called Fairy Tale Frolics at the Upper Noe Rec Center.  The class itself is somewhat underwhelming.  It was touted as a class where the children read classic fairy tales out loud and then acted them out, but in reality the entire reading portion of the class lasts about 5 minutes, and sometimes they don't even make it through one book before too many of the kids run off.  Most of the class is just random free-play with the rec center's indoor toys and equipment.  There is a brief art project each week, and the last part of the class is held in the gymnasium where there are more toys and sometimes a parachute.  In general, it moves from one thing to the next a bit too quickly for Ruby, who would be happy to just do one of those activities for the whole class.  However, we introduced the class to Ruby's little friend Michael, and now he and his mom take the class with us, which has been fun.

On Wednesday mornings, we take a class called Tot Sports at Eureka Valley Rec Center.  The class is meant to be an introduction to organized sports, so each class they will play a sport like soccer or basketball or practice a skill like catching or obstacle courses.  It may or may not come as a surprise that Ruby is not very sporty.  She will usually participate during the warm-up stretching, but the majority of the rest of the class is spent doing her own thing or taking water breaks.  We were able to meet several new friends in the class, all of whom are around the same age.  Ruby's favorite part of class is afterwards when they all get together and share their snacks.

In the afternoons on Wednesday we go to our Golden Gate Music Together class in Laurel Heights, which is close to our old neighborhood.  We used to be able to walk there from our house, but now we have to drive 20 min and then find parking.  However, it's worth it because it is Ruby's favorite class of the week!  She has always loved music, and in this class they give everyone a different instrument to play along with each song.

On Thursdays Ruby is still with the nanny and share-care buddy Ian.  She is still excited to see Ian every week and asks about him when he's not around.  This week, Ruby mentioned that some of her toys were broken.  When we asked her who broke them, she said, "Ian already broke my toys."  Fortunately, she doesn't harbor any ill will, and the two of them are still two peas in a pod.

On Friday mornings Ruby takes another music class called Music and Movement at St. Mary's Rec Center.  This is actually one of my favorite Parks and Rec classes because the teacher is entertaining and engaging with the kids.  Ruby also met a very sweet new friend in the class.  She is 4 years old and just adores Ruby.  She often treats Ruby as if she is her own child!  They play together for hours in the playground after class.  Once when I had to run to the other side of the playground to get something, she said to me, "You can go; I'll take care of Ruby."  The two of them together is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen.

On Friday afternoons I used to take an exercise class called Strollercise at Eureka Valley Rec.  The class was meant to allow moms to exercise while their toddlers played around in the room.  Ruby was not very accommodating at first.  She was ok during the Zumba portion of the class, but would become very upset if I tried to do squats or calf raises.  She got a little better over time, but unfortunately the class was very poorly attended.  At most it was myself and one other mom, and most weeks it was just me.  Therefore, the class was cancelled halfway through the season, eliminating my only source of exercise.  Fortunately, the instructor was kind enough to offer some of us exercise instruction for free on Thursday mornings, so I need to start taking her up on that.

After exercise class, Ruby usually has a playdate with Anjishnu, who is the son of two of my former labmates.  Although Anjishnu is 4 and a half, he loves playing with younger kids and spends all of his time chasing Ruby around the playground.  They always have a blast when playing together!

Of course we cannot forget about Ruby's long-time boyfriend, Julien.  Julien and Ruby actually signed up for 3 classes together at the start of the Fall session, but with his extensive travel schedule the last few months, they've only actually attended class together less than a handful of times.  However, they still have regular dinner dates which Ruby is always very excited for, sometimes standing by the door and calling, "Come on!  Let's go to dinner with Julien!"

I think I will always remember this Fall as the season we spent at Ruby's "new house," meeting new friends, settling into our new routines, and watching Ruby turn from a toddler into a Big Kid.

Little Ruby Riding Hood

It's hard to believe that Ruby has now celebrated Halloween 3 times in her little life.







This year we trick-or-treated at the shops on 24th St. in Noe Valley along with Ruby's bff, Eva, her bf, Julien, and hundreds of neighborhood children.  Trick-or-treating was right up Ruby's alley because one of her favorite activities is to gather various smaller items and collect them in larger containers.  She was thrilled that all of these strangers on the street wanted to play this collection game with her.









Ruby's efforts were very lucrative, and she came away with a basket full of goodies.  Amazingly, she has yet to eat a single piece of candy!  It turns out that Ruby still doesn't quite understand that those little colorful packages contain food, and in this case we decided to perpetuate ignorance.  She has saved all of her treats in her basket (minus the few pieces that Steve and I snuck after she went to bed) so that she can play "trick-or-treat" over and over again.

Not to paint myself the Big Bad Wolf, but when I saw this Little Red Riding Hood, I wanted nothing more than to gobble her up.

The Darnedest Things

One of the most delightfully entertaining parts of watching Ruby grow up is hearing all of her thoughts being turned into words.  As Ruby adds more and more words to her repertoire, it is easier and easier to hear the voice of a little person.  Over time, Ruby's chatter has evolved from a stream of random life observations ("Yiby* has bare feet.  Mommy has bare feet.  E'rybody bare feet!") to specific and deliberate instructions ("Can you flap your arms?  Flap your arms, Mommy!")  Many times Ruby's language indicates that she believes she is the adult in the situation.  When I tried to take back the little prep bowl that she was playing with while I was preparing dinner, she objected, "Rubby's still using it.  You play with big bowls, Mommy!"

Sometimes her instructions are quite specific.  The other day, when I was humming one of Ruby's songs that I had stuck in my head, she requested, "Just sing it, Mommy.  Don't pretend sing, OK?"  And when her dad was using a low voice to depict one of the characters in a book they were reading, she directed, "Don't read it sad.  Read it happy."

She now understands many of the rules of common courtesy and is more than eager to enforce them.  When I try to put away a toy she's not done with, I'll hear, "Not avail'ble yet!  Rubby's still using it.  Wait your turn!" However, when she is the one who has to wait for something that is not yet available, she has often been known to screech, "Avail'ble!  Rubby NEEDS it!"

One of my favorite pastimes is listening in on the conversations she has with her little friends, both real and imaginary.  She especially likes to talk to her little buddy Ian on the days they get to play together.  This week, when her singing doggie ran out of batteries, she explained, "Doggie is broken, Ian.  Have to wait for Daddy fix it.  Find new ba'rries."  And when Ian was rough-housing on the furniture, she cautioned, "Be careful, Ian!  Don't fall down!"  I will often hear her taking care of her dollie (wa-wa), "Want to eat lunch, wa-wa?  Here go.  Want some water, wa-wa?  Rubby get some water.  Be right back."

It is getting harder and harder to slide anything past Ruby, as she picks up on everything and has the memory of an elephant.  Therefore, we've learned not to make mention of something unless we are prepared to produce it immediately.  We also have to be very careful of what promises we make because she will come to collect on it in due time.  If we ever run out of something that Ruby is asking for, like a favorite food, we can usually appease her by telling her that we don't have anymore and that we have go to the store and buy more.  Sometimes as soon as we tell her that we've run out of something, she will suggest, "Mommy buy more."  However, her understanding of commerce is not air-tight.  Ruby really dislikes having food stuck in between her teeth, so she enjoys flossing it out.  One day, I was helping her floss her teeth, and she kept on asking me to  do it more.  I told her that she didn't have any more teeth gunk stuck in her teeth, to which she replied, "Mommy buy more."

Of course what makes the things Ruby says so hilarious is the painfully earnest way she makes each statement and poses each question.  There is always a concerted effort on our part to respond to her seriously instead of just laughing in her face.  We have to remind ourselves that as much as we want to just gobble her up, that she is not just a cute face - she's a little girl with some big ideas.

*Ruby's pronunciation of her own name has also evolved over the past year.  Initially, she pronounced it "Yiby" as she could not pronounce the letter R and therefore substituted a random consonant anytime she encountered it.  Then there was a brief transition period when she referred to herself as "Wuby."  In recent months, she's switched over to "Rubby."

Goodbye Summer

Fall is here already, and I realize that I have not updated the blog nearly often enough over the summer.  Even though in San Francisco, our real summer is the Fall, when temperatures occasionally break 70, I am sad to see summer go.  Despite the fog and the wind and bundling up in winter coats at the playground, I love how the days are long and how the most delicious fruits and vegetables are in season.  Almost every Saturday this summer we have made it over to the farmer's market at the Ferry Building, which is quite possibly my favorite place on Earth.  I could live there and just roll around in the endless aisles of beautiful produce, not to mention the rows of gourmet food trucks.  I'm sure this type of thing exists in other parts of the world as well, but I feel like I had never really tasted food until I started eating at farmer's markets in San Francisco.  Over the years, I have developed a pretty costly farmer's market habit, and I'm sorry to say that Ruby has started hers at a much younger age.

Every week when we arrive at the market, Ruby dons what is basically a full-body poncho so that we may avoid scrubbing out the stains from her clothes after she gorges herself on fistful after fistful of free samples.  As we make our way through the sea of vendors, Ruby eats oranges, peaches, nectarines, pluots, strawberries, grapes, apples, pears, ju-ju-be's, sugar snap peas, heirloom tomatoes, figs, and anything else anyone puts in front of her face.  A couple of weeks ago, we even found fresh baby corn that was so tender that it could be eaten raw along with the inner husks.  After we make our purchases and Ruby covers herself in a layer of sticky purple sweetness, we pick up lunch from one of the food vendors and eat on the pier, looking out into the bay.  Before we leave, Ruby likes to stop in front of one of the many street performers and dance along with the music.  It takes a lot of prodding before we finally leave and head home with our bountiful loot.  Pathetically, the food usually only lasts us about half the week, and I have to find a mid-week farmer's market to replenish.

This summer seemed particularly cold to me, as there were very few heat waves or fluke sunny days to punctuate the summer fog.  The only bits of real summer that we got was when we left the city, like when we took our trip to the Pacific Northwest, or the times when we traveled to the North or South Bay for a pool day.



Only in the last week or so were we given the first taste of our Indian Summer, and we have been taking full advantage by swimming in the pool at our new apartment and taking Ruby's first trip to Ocean Beach (where we had a good half hour of partial sunshine before the fog creeped back in).

















Fortunately for us, Ruby does not experience any feeling of loss for the lack of warm weather.  As a true San Francisco native, she prefers the fog and wind.  On those rare warm and sunny days, I endure a lot complaining about how it's "too hot" and "too sunny."

There is still so much to write about little Ruby, who is not just two, but two and a quarter years old now and becoming less of a toddler and more of a "big girl" each day.  But to commemorate the changing of the season, I will leave you with this video of Ruby tasting mooncake for the first time on the eve of the Autumn Moon Festival.  More to come ...