Wacky Wednesdays

Ever since I went back to lab when Ruby was 3 months old, I have been taking off Wednesdays to be home with her. I had read in a book somewhere that if you are struggling with the idea of going back to work, it really helps to take off Wednesdays if you can as it breaks up the week and makes the time spent away from baby seem more manageable. I also struggled with the notion of having a caretaker other than myself spend more waking hours with my child than I did, and being at home on Wednesdays tipped the hours in my favor. In the beginning I rationalized that I would make up the time in lab by putting in extra on the weekends or switching off with Steve some weeks, but in reality, I just worked less. Is that something I apologize for or regret? Hell no. I rearrange my experiments, schedule meetings, more or less plan my week around being at home on Wednesdays, and there has not been a single week since going back to lab that I have not spent at least one day being a Stay At Home Mom with Ruby. (Does that make me a crappy graduate student? Probably, but that's a discussion for another day ...)

I have so many ideas for what Ruby and I would do if I were a full-time Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) (e.g. classes, playdates, museums) that since I only have one day, Wednesdays sometimes get a little crazy. Added to this is the issue of Ruby refusing to nap on any day that I am at home. For a long time Ruby napped like clockwork, and even now she naps perfectly well with the nanny, but on weekends and Wednesdays, she will not nap unless she happens to fall asleep in the car or in the stroller. Ruby's nap strike seems to have a far greater effect on my exhaustion level than on hers. Even though Ruby is relatively calm and easy to look after compared to other toddlers, most other toddlers nap for 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Even a relatively calm toddler can wear a person out with NO nap break during the day. Maybe it's just too much to ask to have a toddler who is both easy while awake and easy to put down for naps.

Here are some examples of our typical Wednesday:

Last Wednesday morning we met up with Ruby's little friend Eva and her mom at Alta Plaza Park, which is this beautiful park on top of Pacific Heights with sweeping city views. We played there for a bit and then walked to the Fillmore to meet my friend Liz for lunch. We decided to eat at Pizzaria Delfina, a very popular neopolitan-style pizza joint. Due to its popularity and lack of seating that would accomodate 2 toddlers, we ended up waiting close to an hour for a table.

For a while Ruby and Eva waited patiently on a stoop next to the restaurant.

But after a while Ruby wandered off down the street and stumbled into the open door of a newly opened preschool. As she helped herself to the bins of toys, the director spoke to me about their program. Ironically I had just started looking into preschools for Ruby and would have never known about this new school had Ruby not wandered inside.

By the time we finally were seated, the kids were famished, and we needed several refills of the free breadsticks. However, the service was very slow, and the meal itself lasted almost 2 hours. In an amazing feat of toddler stamina, both Ruby and Eva sat nicely the entire time and never fussed or complained!

By the time we got home, it was already past 3:00pm! Despite the long day and all the activity, Ruby still refused to nap. I played with her for a while, and around 4:30, she demanded to nurse. Even though she hardly ever nurses anymore in the middle of the day, I took it as an opportunity for me to get some rest. We were both so exhausted that we fell asleep almost instantaneously, and Steve returned home to find us both passed out on the couch.



This Wednesday it was hailing intermitently, so I took Ruby to the Exploratorium, which is a very hands-on children's science museum.

A few of the moms from our playgroup joined us, and it was fun to see everyone after several weeks of inactivity in the playgroup. Even though the group still actively communicates via email, playdates have been harder and harder to schedule due to some moms having moved out of the city and everyone (except us) getting pregnant with their second baby. We stayed at the Exploratorium until almost 1:00pm and then returned home to have lunch. After lunch, Ruby once again refused to nap, so she scampered around me as I prepared food to pack for her dinner. When she still would not nap by 3:45, I gave up and put her in the car to drive down to boyfriend Julien's house. By 3:48, she was asleep.

Even though it took just 25 minutes to get to Julien's house, I stayed in the car until 5:00pm so that Ruby could get some more sleep. When we finally went inside, Julien couldn't wait to play, but Ruby was still groggy.

After coming out of her sleey daze, Ruby and Julien played and then exchanged a belated Valentines present (Ruby got Julien a sticker book, and Julien got Ruby a framed photo of the two of them). Steve arrived from work, and we all went out for dinner together. By the time we got home and put Ruby to bed, it was 9:30, and the only thing I wanted to do was sit on the couch and bask in the satisfying exhaustion that follows a day filled with quality baby-time.